Month: August 2017

Everything takes longer than I think it will

Lynn

Everything takes longer than I think it will. On the other hand, at least things are getting done. This morning, I had a somewhat harrowing interruption when I had to knock a spider out of the doorway to my deck. I couldn’t check on the kittens while it hung there. It was huge. I hate spiders so yes, it turned into an ordeal, but when I came back to writing, I had thoroughly woken myself up and I started in on my edits with vim and vigor.

I haven’t finished the chapter 15–16 edits, although I’m closer and I’m into chapter 16 now—about half way. My 10:30 deadline came and went, but I’m just happy to be making progress and feeling good about how it’s going. Writing has been fun today.

When I get to the end of what I’ve written, I already know I’ll be deleting the last page or so plus some notes at the end that will probably also amount to a page or so, meaning I expect to lose at a minimum 500–600 words when I get there. But I don’t care. Anything that makes it easier to keep going with this book is good. :)

If I haven’t mentioned it, I’ve been running my timer up instead of down lately, so that’s why all the uneven session lengths. It also helps me see how often something interrupts me, or I interrupt myself.

Sessions (in progress):

  • 19 minutes: 155 words
  • 8 minutes: 50 words
  • 29 minutes: 67 words
  • 41 minutes: 12 words

My word counts are kind of low but I’m finally to the part where I’m about to delete stuff. I think I’m going to have to delete fewer words than I thought to be honest, which is great. And then finally, finally, I can just let myself go and write, write, write! :D

  • 32 minutes: 2 words
  • 38 minutes: 241 words
  • 9 minutes: -302 words
  • 17 minutes: 77 words
  • 23 minutes: 34 words

Total: 3.6 hours of timed writing and 336 words.

No writing last night after all

Lynn

I took the computer up, but instead of writing I just sat with it on my lap and stared at it until I almost dozed sitting up. At that point, I snapped the lid closed and went to sleep. Just too tired.

Being off my sleep schedule and not getting enough sleep have apparently taken their toll. I need to be writing as early in the day as I can right now while I have enough energy to do it so that’s what I’m about to do.

I’m going to finally get through chapters 15 and 16 this morning (it’s 9:32 am) and I’m going to do it within in the next hour.

By 10:30, I want to be ready to start in on the next chapter.

I’ll be back then to update for some accountability. ;) (Yes, you’re my writing accountability group, whether you want to be or not. You’re reading this, aren’t you? Comment if you want me to return the favor and I’ll cheer you on at your own blog.) :)

Stuck in some kind of OCD loop right now

Lynn

Deleting 24 pages of posts from Kboards again. Maybe I just didn’t have anything compelling enough to keep my thoughts about this book at bay and I turned to this to distract myself…

Gah. Why do I do this to myself?

Anyway, down to 9 pages of posts and 2 of those pages are deleted topics. You can’t actually delete threads you created so I just delete the actual post and change the subject line.

Off I go to finish this so I can get back to writing.

Be back later. :o

DONE. Whew. I was starting to wonder if I’d be doing this all night.

Thinking about this now, I’m pretty sure I was in the midst of some kind of anxiety episode or something. All evening my skin has felt like it was crawling. I keep thinking I’ve got gnats biting me, but I don’t think there are any actual gnats, even though I’m sitting under a light in the dining room at the moment. I had a shower, and it seems to have helped me, but my skin still feels a bit crawly. I do know I was feeling anxious earlier, and I remember that, because I consciously chose not to make a second cup of tea today, thinking that maybe the caffeine had done it (it was green tea/herbal mix).

All I have to say for myself is that I’m taking my computer to bed with me (to get away from this dang light) and I am going to work on my book! Maybe not for the three hours I had planned and hoped for, but for at least long enough to get through chapters 15 and 16. I’m just not going to bed tonight until I’ve done it, and that’s final.

Be back later. (Although probably not to this post. And maybe not until tomorrow, depending how late I stay up writing!)

Yesterday proved that I do need practice

Lynn

Yesterday was a bit of a letdown. I couldn’t concentrate (lack of sleep, I believe) and ended up going to bed early.

I didn’t come close to three hours of writing or 1,557 words. I wrote for 44 minutes and added only 90 words to my book. I stopped for lunch and never came back.

Yesterday I wrote:

Today also begins a fresh start on my 1,557 words a day goal. I’ll also be requiring at least three hours a day of writing from myself. I will require this every day, with few exceptions. I’m doing this because I’m starting to believe self-discipline is something you need to practice regularly, and without it, you’re never going to get the most out of yourself long-term.

All yesterday did was prove that I do need practice.

I’m hoping today will go better. But I might wait to post results until the end of the week so I can concentrate on my book and avoid online distractions. Because once I open my browser, I have a difficult time not wasting time.

Self-discipline is a skill: skills take practice and practice takes time

Lynn

I did not reach any of my goals yesterday. (1557 words, 3 hours writing, finish editing chapters 15 and 16.) I wrote for 2.633 hours and added 122 words to chapter 15.

I didn’t take drastic measures with those chapters as I said I would because things were actually going well with the story. I just couldn’t concentrate, and there didn’t seem to be anything I could do about it. I even turned to a cup of coffee, which didn’t help at all. >:{

Today I am going to finish going through chapter 15 and 16 and I’m going to do it before I stop for lunch.

After lunch, I’m going to write.

Today also begins a fresh start on my 1,557 words a day goal. I’ll also be requiring at least three hours a day of writing from myself. I will require this every day, with few exceptions. I’m doing this because I’m starting to believe self-discipline is something you need to practice regularly, and without it, you’re never going to get the most out of yourself long-term.

I accept that I’ll fall short on the word counts sometimes, because I haven’t changed my writing process and I do end up with days where I delete more than I write. This isn’t about perfection. But by requiring three hours a day from myself, I make it much more likely that on my good days, I might make up some of those lost words. And on days where three hours just doesn’t cut it, I can keep pushing for those 1,557 words.

My biggest hope is that over time I’ll fall into a routine that maximizes the number of words I write in the most reasonable amount of time by consistently staying involved in my story worlds. I’ll stop losing momentum to month-long breaks and I’ll lose less time to massive read-throughs and edits like the one I’m stuck in the middle of now, because I’ll be working on my stories every day. Even if I can’t maintain the three hours and 1,557 words a day pace working on just one story, I can work on other stories. I already know I have that capability.

I’m going at this to build stamina for writing. What I write isn’t as important as the writing itself. Plus, I don’t want to hamstring myself by limiting what I can write. Some days there will be stories I won’t feel capable of or ready to write. Those days need a back up plan. That back up plan is to write something else.

Three hours a day is twenty-one hours a week, and that’s not that much time at all to devote to what is undoubtedly my life’s work.

Overdue books, procrastination, and a writer’s income

Lynn

Today has been an excellent day for writing.

Unfortunately, I haven’t written a thing. It’s now 9:48 pm and I don’t really have a choice: I have to find it in me to start writing.

I have an overdue book to finish writing (personal deadline—learned my lesson about setting public ones) and a dire need for money in my bank account. So, yeah, don’t bother trying to hack my accounts. You’ll be disappointed. I haven’t been writing anywhere near enough every day, since about the time my children started graduating from high school and heading to college, and it’s starting to show.

All that said, I need to get some income coming in or come November, I’m going to be looking for one of those seasonal jobs writers sometimes need to make ends meet while writing the next book. I would be really embarrassed to do that, if only because I know the only reason it would be necessary in this instance is because I can’t make myself sit and write for two to three hours a day.

Talk about the pain of facing up to your deficiencies. It’s something I’d rather not know about myself, and yet, know it I do. I have pushed it to the last possible moment and now I’m in desperate need of finishing this book.

And there’s the twist. I just went to check on the stray cat that’s been acting weird all day and the curl of dread in my stomach has been justified. He is a she and she’s delivering kittens. Dammit.

Postponement of yesterday to today

Lynn

So yesterday I did not finish with chapter 15 to 16. Life interrupted and I finally gave in and postponed to today what I wanted to accomplish yesterday.

So everything I said yesterday? Applies to today. :)

Not that I didn’t make any progress yesterday, because I did.

I spent 1.517 hours writing (timed writing) and added 280 words after deletions, additions, redrafting, and edits. I’m lucky I got that. The interruptions were fortuitous, because I was ready to start yelling at my screen about this chapter (let me be honest, I did yell at the screen at least once).

I found the thing that I thought was in the book earlier, that I addressed earlier when I fixed up some earlier chapters, and then rediscovered the thing in chapter 15.

Meaning: I addressed something in an earlier chapter that hadn’t even happened yet. UGH!

So yeah. I needed the break.

Revisions are more than just fixing stuff and I’ve fallen into the revision pit, obviously. I hate them and I don’t honestly believe they do anything to make a book better most of the time, and yet, here I am, right in the middle of doing something that’s awfully close to revision. >:{

Now to fix it today. And get on with writing new stuff. Chapter 16 can just stuff it. I’m fixing 15 and skipping right to the end of 16 where I need to delete the last page and just start fresh. I’m not going to try to save any of that last page. It’ll just lead to heartache.

Is it perfectionism stalling me out?

Lynn

Yes, yes, it is. I’m still working through chapter 15 as of yesterday. It should have been simple to get through chapters 15 and 16 and on to new stuff, but that didn’t happen.

I was fixing a few lines that didn’t feel right for one character now that I’ve eliminated some of the excessive mental wrangling I had him doing because I couldn’t figure out where I was going with him, and I started writing some new stuff for him right there in the middle of the chapter. It was good stuff too so I went with it, but I did agonize over it a little too much because it had to fit in between other stuff, which is always a chore for me.

I’d like to stop going back in my books like this, because as you can see from the multiple days of slow writing but long hours, it isn’t that fun for me!

Today, I’m going to finish these two chapters even if I have to take a hands off approach and jump to the next damn chapter. That’s not the plan but if I find myself getting hung up on stuff just because it could sound better in my head if I wrote it another way, I’m doing it. That’s perfectionism trying to hold me back, and I can’t let it win.

Yesterday’s totals came to 3.65 hours of timed writing and 379 words after new stuff, deletions, and redrafts.

I was very inefficient yesterday, because if I were at a job where time at my desk counted, I would have logged a solid 9+ hours. I was tired when I finished (who wouldn’t be after spending 9 hours at their desk?) but I did start making progress toward going to sleep earlier. Not much, since it was still just about 1 am when I called it a night, but 1 am is better than 2 or 3 am!

Also, I’m just about to do something about the tags on this site. I just had an idea that might—possibly—be a way I can use them that actually makes sense for me. :D

More progress but not there yet

Lynn

Yesterday I wrote for 5.533 hours and netted 343 words after more changes. I made it through only 3 chapters. I expected to do better, frankly, but when I get to editing on the computer I end up going at it with a much heavier hand than I do when I read the book on my tablet and just highlight what I want to fix. However, I’m actually pretty happy with the changes, even though I cut something I tried my best not to have to cut.

I should’ve cut it back when I wrote it, because I spent a lot of time with low word counts trying to make my story lead up to that bit. I see now that I really shouldn’t have tied myself into knots trying to make it work. First mistake. So really my changes are just me changing things to the way they should’ve been in the first place. I can’t say I’m surprised. :D

Today though I start at chapter 15 and I did read through some of the rest of the book again last night on my tablet and highlight the stuff I want to address. I got too tired to read the rest but at least I have somewhere to start!

So, the plan for today: Get through chapters 15 and 16, and restart this story. Then get 1,557 words! :D And if that doesn’t take 3 hours, at least, keep going until I reach 3 hours of timed writing.

Simple.

Now to get to it. :)

Progress and a brilliant idea I should have had sooner

Lynn

I did run out of time yesterday and didn’t make it through all the chapters of my book.

Well, sort of. I stopped the editing at chapter 12, but then I sent the file to my tablet and read through the rest of it and realized most of it’s solid. Just a few bits I want to change, one because of an inconsistency and a few paragraphs that tripped me up when I was reading them. They could use some smoothing out for sure for various reasons.

Unfortunately, I didn’t highlight those spots during that late night read through so I still have to read through those chapters again today and find the things I thought needed changing. I was just too tired last night and it seemed like a good idea at the time to focus on the reading. I don’t agree so much to that today, but too late now. :o

I think those rough patches come from not writing fast enough. Too many rewrites and edits makes it very easy to screw up the flow of a story. When I bog down, that happens to me. I mean, I’m doing it because I can’t figure out what’s wrong usually, so I have to, but I know it’s not usually helping the story. I seem to get the best results when I’m able to just ignore what’s there and write fresh, then delete the old. :D

That’s probably why this kind of edit takes me so long. I’m really doing a lot more redrafting of the book than actually editing what’s there.

As for the brilliant idea I mentioned in the title of this post, I can’t believe I haven’t thought of it before. I have to revisit my previous books quite a lot to find stuff, and I had the notion to create a master series doc yesterday. It took me about three minutes to put together using Word’s “Insert > Object > Text from File” menu item. Then I used another half hour or so cleaning it up so it wasn’t cluttered with various styles. (The oldest books used different style sets than my newer books and I just quickly applied the new styles and deleted the old from the document. Less chance of corruption later, I hope.)

Anyway, it’s a huge file, but Word handled it fine. So now I can open one file when I need to search the books for something and I can get results for ALL the books. Since small corrections won’t affect that, I won’t ever have to do anything else to this doc except add the newest books when I publish them. :D

When I start the next book on my other series, I’ll do the same for it. So much easier than opening and searching multiple books trying to find that one bit of info I need. ;)

Anyway, here are the numbers: 6.467 hours of timed writing (plus all the times I forgot to turn the timer back on, because that kept happening) and 151 words net from edits, redrafting, and deletions.

It was a highly-focused day of writing, for sure.

Now on to today. I need to get these final changes made, and then I’m going to put some real effort into writing the rest of this book as fast as I can. Onward!

More time, fewer words

Lynn

Yesterday I managed to stay focused for 5.417 hours of timed writing. I did not manage to write 1,557 words. My word count at the end of the night was -556 words. I’ve just started going through chapter 10 and new words start at chapter 16. Today’s plan is to get through the rest of those chapters AND write 1,557 words. I’m determined. I might run out of time, but I don’t project any distractions today so I’m hopeful. :) But I’m a pretty optimistic person so I’m always hopeful, lol.

I’ve had my playlist on shuffle and repeat for the entirety of my writing time and it’s really helping me stay focused. Trust me, that’s something I need help with on a daily basis. And repeating a short playlist seems to work better than anything else. Sometimes I go as short as one song, but even I can admit that’s pretty crazy.

Usually I just listen to songs I’ve purchased, but my previous playlist wasn’t working for me. I needed something a little different and came up with this one and have been very pleased with how well I’ve focused with it. Eventually I’ll get around to buying these to add to my collection. But right now, I’m not messing with a winning formula! :D

Anyway, on to today’s writing.

Writing after the eclipse

Lynn

I meant everything I said last night (this morning, really). But I did have plans for today because of the eclipse, so I knew I wouldn’t start early. I started at about 6 pm. My goals were entirely reasonable, even for a late start. 3 hours. 1,557 words. And then a little more just because.

Here’s what I did.

I wrote for 4.35 hours. I didn’t make it to 1,557 words. In fact, I only made it to 109 words, because I’ve deleted much more than I’ve written after finding more than one problem to fix and I’m still working on getting a handle on this book. I’m actually not sure how long it’ll take but I’m hoping only another few pages of major stuff to fix.

Either way, it’s forty minutes past midnight and I don’t think I can stay up any longer without compromising tomorrow’s writing.

I might have to accept that until I get through this read-through, a positive word count is probably asking too much.

Disappointed with my progress this last two weeks

Lynn

I’ve had a couple of bad weeks of writing and I’m anxious to stop the downward slide. It’s 1:34 in the morning and I’ve spent another evening doing everything I can to avoid getting started with writing. It’ll continue until I decide to put a stop to it. So that’s what I’m doing. Tomorrow, I’ll write. 3 hours minimum. 1,557 words at least. And then a little more just to prove that I control my own actions. I don’t have to end the day disappointed in myself.

Breakfast musings

Lynn

To prevent myself from continuing the patterns that have led to me writing less than I want over the last two weeks, I’m writing this post while I have breakfast. :D Usually I read during that time, but that reading has been leading me to put off writing much longer than I should each day. I finished reading a book yesterday and started another, and I’m now halfway through that one too. So no more reading, at least until I get some more writing done.

I did write yesterday, but my word count only reached 207 words for 2.25 hours of writing, mostly because I went back to chapter 9 and started making my way forward through the book. I haven’t made it very far because I was trying to figure out why I didn’t like some of what was there. I think I fixed it, but I still have to make it through another 7 chapters before I’m free to write all new material. :)

I will say I haven’t gotten off to a great start today. I started this post sometime around 11 this morning, and because of letting myself get sidetracked, I’m just now finishing it and it’s 2:37.

I’ll have to spend the rest of the day writing if I want to end up with an appreciable number of words. I’d like at least 6 hours of timed writing today, and I’d like to not stay up until 2 am to get them.

I’m thinking I might try a challenge, but I won’t decide for sure until after I finish the read-through edits and get to the new material.

Taking advantage of changes

Lynn

I’ve banned binge-watching until my book is done. So night before last, what did I do? I binge-watched at least 8 episodes of Black Sails. Might have been 9, but double-checking that number probably isn’t a good use of my time.

I ended up somewhere in the middle of season two at any rate. Really good show, even though I’m not going to pretend that any of the characters are all that likeable. But they’re some of the most interesting I’ve come across in a while, and boy does that seem to be working for me as a viewer. I also had to keep reminding myself not to cheer for the bad guys. :D The buildup of mysterious backstory for some of these characters is fantastic and kept me watching way too long.

I ended up going to bed at 6 am yesterday morning.

Then I had to go back to bed early last night because I had to be up at 6:15 this morning because it was move-in day at college for my youngest. It’s been a rough week. I think the binge-watching and binge-reading were part of an attempt to cope with the changes going on around me. I do tend to bury myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed. It would be nice if that could be in writing, but writing apparently takes too much focus—focus I don’t have when I’m feeling overwhelmed.

I had hoped to restart my writing on this book this evening now that I’m home again but it didn’t happen.

Tomorrow, I’m going to take advantage of the changes to try to slip back into a routine with my writing. We’ll see how it goes. :)

Why I now write my notes in high-quality journals

Lynn

No writing yesterday. I was out and about and at the localish Books-A-Million came across a good deal on some very pretty journals I can use for my writing.

In actuality, this one has a gold bookmark (both have two strands so I can mark two spots!).

I looked up the publisher (flametreepublishing.com) to see just how good a deal I got and was very pleased. :)

This one has a pale pink ribbon for a bookmark, not this bright pink reddish color, and it also has two strands so I can mark two spots in the book. :)

Plus, the journals are so worth it. They’re unlined and labeled as sketchbooks but the paper is so smooth and nice, and I’ve been wanting to try an unlined journal, so I couldn’t pass them up.

They’re beside me right now and I keep touching them because I think they’re so gorgeous. ;D

The fact is, I love writing my notes in pretty journals. It took me a while to get there, because I’ve used cheap little tablets for years, and the few quality journals I’ve bought, I’ve hoarded and never could work up the nerve to actually scribble notes in them.

I always felt like I should only write important things in the pretty journals and notebooks. But I’ve finally overcome that feeling and I’m glad. I like having these things on my bookshelves and I’m much less likely to rip out all the pages and toss them, which is what I’ve done in the past with many of my cheap notebooks.

I want to keep these things on my bookshelves so I can look back at what I was thinking and feeling and noting when I worked on a particular book. :D

If you’re tempted to do the same, give in. It’s so much easier to justify hanging on to what feel like silly little notes to yourself when they’re written in beautiful or high-quality notebooks. :)

Binge reading means no writing

Lynn

I’ve been binge reading again. Unfortunately, when that happens, I don’t write. I don’t have time. I read in every spare moment I have and I can’t seem to pull myself away. I’ve read a lot of books in the last several days and started even more that I didn’t finish for one reason or another.

However, I have to get some real writing done today no matter how desperate I am to finish reading the book I started a few hours ago (The Girl Who Knew Too Much by Amanda Quick) (after I finished reading How to Tame a Beast in Seven Days by Kerrelyn Sparks).

I mean it. I have to write today.

I haven’t written a word of fiction in two days and it’s bumming me out. Unfortunately, that hasn’t actually made it easier to do any writing. I think I’m avoiding my book.

I don’t have a time machine so there’s no point in dwelling on it, but I do have to do better today.

I have to stop avoiding my book. >:-{

8-10-17 Thursday

Lynn

Getting lazy on titles today. :)

The plan is 3 hours and 1,557 words. I’m going to read for a few minutes and then get started. Somehow it’s already 12:58 pm and I have no idea how that happened.

Okay, I’ve procrastinated like nobody’s business today, so I’m going to have to nail this word count today in record time or it’s not going to get done. Needless to say (I’m saying it anyway), it needs to get done.

Holy crap.

Would you believe I’m still procrastinating? :o

All is not lost. I did actually work on my timeline for this book (it’s a mess) and brainstorm a bit. That counts, right? It did get me 138 words.

Sadly, they’re mostly just notes-to-self so I don’t forget some of the stuff I figured out and they’ll be deleted as soon as I don’t need them anymore.

Updates

54 minutes, 141 words.

Total words: 279.

Well, not great, but it’s something, right?

Will have to do better tomorrow.

Read another book and learned something about writing

Lynn

I didn’t write anything yesterday, after a really late start to the day, reading half a book, then going off to do stuff that has to be done when you’re running a household. But reading that book yesterday and today—which I really enjoyed, by the way—taught me something I know but seem unable to learn.

When writing, you have to allow yourself to write what comes naturally.

I keep trying to find a way to explain this but it’s not coming to me easily, even though I know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s about phrases and sentences and letting the words come the way they want to come and avoiding the urge to go back and fix them, when the truth is, they don’t need to be fixed.

I’m not talking about letting myself write sub-par prose because it’s good enough. This is nothing like that. I’m talking about writing good prose. Strong prose. Stuff that upon reading it creates vivid images in my mind, but that when I write it feels like bad writing. It’s not bad writing. That’s what I saw in this book. So many of the phrases I’ve taken to rewriting worked great just as they were in that book. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Those phrases would have come—do come—naturally to me, but then I change them for reasons that I’ve only now realized are problematic at best. It’s me trying to force a style on the words, a style the words don’t need. I had started to feel like maybe this was what I was doing, but I wasn’t sure. But I can see it clearly now after reading something that reminded me a lot of my own natural writing style.

This—this thing I’ve just realized, maybe not for the first time, probably not for the last either—is the main reason why I can’t stop writing slowly: I can’t write what comes to me naturally and leave it alone.

It’s just another way perfectionism has slipped into my writing and slowed me down.

I spend too much time parsing every word I write and trying to control every phrasing, every sentence, every paragraph break. This makes writing hard, and is it any wonder I don’t want to do it when I’m fighting myself the entire time I’m trying to write a story? Writing isn’t fun when you can’t let go.

After a few days of reading, it’s so easy to see this problem in my writing. The sad thing is that I know to watch out for this kind of thing, this second-guessing of myself as I write, and yet I still haven’t learned not to do it.

But at least for today, for now, I feel a little more free than I did yesterday, and I’m hopeful today’s writing will come easier because of it.

Now, it’s 5:11 pm and I have 1,557 words to write, and I’m going to do it. I’m not looking back at what I didn’t accomplish yesterday, but moving forward toward what I can accomplish today.

One hour sessions, starting now. I’ll post updates below.

Updates

Session 1: 60 minutes, 367 words

I’m just going to say right off, and hope I’m not wrong, that the reason for the slow writing in this session was that I just didn’t (still don’t) know where this scene is going. I actually felt I was writing pretty fast for a while, and I wasn’t second-guessing myself, but then I kind of hit a wall and my brain wasn’t ready to tell me where to go next. I can hope I’m right about that, anyway. Also, I did straight up delete 115 words. Still, that only improves the numbers marginally. I’d have liked to have written about two times faster than I did.

Session 2: 77 minutes, 260 words

After that, I gave up for the night. This scene is just kicking my butt and I don’t even know why.

Word count: 644 (added a few more words after I stopped counting the time)

I’m frustrated, but I’m not really sure what else I can do to get past this other than practice and push on.