Fiction writer. Expert procrastinator. This is my life.
Here’s a thing I’m becoming convinced is real: I can’t write faster when I’m thinking about writing faster. I think for some people, it definitely works. I think for me, it definitely doesn’t.
On that note, today I’ll be focusing on writing and getting my sessions and leave the worry about speed in the dust. Have a feeling it’ll at least make writing more fun today. :)
I’ve written several posts over the last few days and ended up deleting all of them while still in the draft stage. They were really just a way to get out some feelings I’ve been having about writing and I don’t want them cluttering up my view when I look back through what I’ve posted. ;)
All that needs to be said is that I’ve been giving some thought to my writing speed and a few other aspects of my writing and I’ve concluded that I am firmly stuck with a critic on my shoulder and a lack of confidence in my ability to tell an interesting story. Which is interesting, because I really didn’t think that was true until now.
The sad fact is that I thought I’d improve after having these realizations. That hasn’t been the case. :(
Today’s word counts fall in line with the word counts of the day before and the day before that. Here’s my words per hour numbers for the last 19 days.
618
379
367
419
484
117
375
431
459
489
475
462
613
402
394
337
339
199
427
Sigh. Sometimes knowing something isn’t enough. Now I have to figure out how to fix it.
I have a twenty-two day streak of writing every day going. Just one hundred and one more days and I’ll set a new record for myself. :D I’m definitely keeping my eye on that prize.
The last day I updated was the 23rd, so here’s a short update of word counts since then.
7/23 – 7/27
It’s sad that I haven’t been reaching my minimum, but I’m still trying. I’m really hoping to turn my words per hour rate around because it’s been a huge part of my problem with not getting enough words every day this week. My highest was 402 wph and all the other averages are in the 300 range. NOT good at all and a sure sign that perfectionism is dogging me like a bloodhound on a scent.
I’d say I was being overly critical of everything I write, but mostly it’s that nothing feels right. Like I haven’t got a good feel for the story and I don’t know where to take it, so I spend a lot of time writing then deleting so I can go in a different direction as I try to work it out. But I still think it’s perfectionism, because I’m not trusting myself.
Also, I might need to spend a little time thinking about what this story is really about. That’s not something I usually do, but every book is different and maybe this one needs me to give it some thought. Don’t want to get set in my ways—especially if those ways aren’t doing me any favors. :)
Thinking is not doing and doing is the only way to get words onto the page, so time to start writing.
Starting within the next five minutes, I’m going to write 1,557 words as fast as I possibly can and still have it be coherent. In fact, I’m practicing that kind of fast writing right here right now. I am trying not to stop and just let the words flow out of my brain as fast as my short little fingers can type them out.
We’ll see how well that translates to fiction here is just a few short minutes.
Time to go so I can make this happen. :D See you shortly. I think I’ll do 45 minute sessions. I have a scene in my head (that nap really helped!) and I need to get it out while it’s fresh.
Update #1
That’s didn’t work out the way I’d hoped. You know how your speed is your speed is your speed? I’ve got that going.
Last 13 days average WPH:
618
379
367
419
484
117
375
431
459
489
475
462
415 – Today’s, after one 45 minute session of writing
Update the end:
1,073 words and at midnight I just didn’t feel close enough to fudge it and keep going. This midnight cutoff is really helping me not go too far with staying up and sabotaging the next day’s writing, but I’m not doing a great job of seeing it as the limit it’s meant to be.
The sad part of this is that I spent nearly an hour with this story in the morning, bits and pieces floating in my head until I have what I think is a pretty good idea of what’s happening next (that doesn’t happen to me often) and I still bogged down in the writing.
I do think perfectionism is messing with my speed right now. I’m going to have to figure out how to get rid of it for at least a little while so I can get out of this slump!
And since I’m writing this a couple of days later, in fact, I can tell you I didn’t have any luck with it yesterday (the next day) either! I wrote 201 words. So two more days where I didn’t finish my minimum.
I really don’t want to do that again so morning writing is going to have to be a priority.
I have a stray cat hanging around (mentioned that before, I think) and last night something came up on my deck and scared the cat, or attacked her, I’m really not sure (I’ve seen both a racoon and a possum there within the last two weeks), and I was awakened at 2 a.m. by hissing and things on my deck banging across the wood. Let’s just say I was jolted awake, and by the time I flew down the stairs and made it to the back door, the animals had taken their fight elsewhere but I was wide awake.
This morning she was back at the door crying for me to put food out for her, so whatever it was that happened didn’t leave a lasting impression. I should stop feeding her, but I can’t stand the idea of letting her starve and I won’t do it. But no, I won’t have animals indoors, and no one I know wants a new cat.
Anyway, I’m tired today because I didn’t get back to sleep right away and as usual woke up much too early.
In fact, I feel like I feel when I’ve had about four hours of sleep. Not good.
As a consequence, I’ve been at my computer off and on (mostly on) for more than five hours now and I’ve written nothing. Haven’t even started the first session of the day yet.
And those 1,557 words aren’t going to write themselves, that’s for sure. So this post is really just me trying to warm up enough to get started.
Or maybe I’ll just take a nap.
Yeah. That sounds better.
So far today I’ve written 664 words in 1.75 hours. That’s 379 words an hour. Considering I deleted a nice little chunk of words in my second session this afternoon, I’m not too disappointed.
Words left to write today = 893
Hours needed to write them @ 379 wph = 2.353539157
I’d like to do those words at 600 wph or better, because then I can move on to catching up a few days’ word counts where I didn’t reach my minimum. Of course, here it is 3:57 pm and I’m just now reaching 1.75 hours completed, so that could be a problem. Anyway, onward and upward one hopes. :D
Today’s title courtesy of the fact that I forgot to title the post and that was the first phrase that popped into my head.
Update: I finished off the day with 1,616 words and it took me 3.5 hours of timed writing to write them. Not great, but not my worst effort to be sure. :D
I’m going to keep an open mind with today’s writing, because it’s possible I might want to try again for a record setting day, despite the fact that I have the AC guy coming to repair my unit. (Which is now working again, but which I just know will quit the moment I cancel him, so I’m just going to let him come and do maintenance on the thing. It seems to need it every year, and if anyone ever asked me, I’d say yes, my geothermal unit has save me a lot on my electric bill but most definitely not on my nerves or my home maintenance costs.)
The reason I say open mind is that I’m just not sure actually planning the thing isn’t partially to blame for me not writing yesterday.
I’ve found success with the 1,557 word daily minimum. Jumping right into higher word count challenges might be self-sabotaging behavior—or at the least, seriously counterproductive!
So today I will write my minimum and go from there. Once I do today’s minimum, I might finish off yesterday’s minimum. Once I do that, I might go back to the next day where I didn’t finish my minimum and do that one too. And if at the end of the day, that leads me to a record setting word count, I might celebrate.
Sounds like a good plan for the day to me.
Hmm. Anything else? Oh, yes.
I’ll be sticking with 15 minute sessions today so I can keep an eye on my speed. I’ll be trying to reach 250 words at least once today during those sessions. 250 is a big number for me, and I know I can hit it but I don’t do it often. So, yeah, it’s a challenge, but a tiny one. :D
Update: It’s down to the wire. I have 30 minutes to finish 440 words, unfortunately. Might be a problem because my last several sessions have been in the 200–300 wph range. I don’t even know why I’m taking time to write this except that I had a compulsion to do it. Anyway, getting back to it so I can get those 440 words asap.
Update two: I wrote until just a little later than midnight because I was so close that I couldn’t let my day end without reaching that 1,557 words. I did! I came in at 1,661 and 3.5 hours of timed writing. I just can’t believe how difficult I find it to accumulate those hours of writing time over the course of a day. This is something that’s bugged me for years. I just can’t figure it out.
Update three: Ha! You thought I forgot about the challenge, huh? I did. Sorry. The fact is I didn’t make it to 250 words in any of my sessions. My closest came in at 179, I think. (I deleted the log before I remembered I was supposed to be keeping up.)
So remember last year? No, I didn’t think you would, but here you go, a reminder.
Yes, my AC is out. Again. Not only that but somehow, someway, I’ve reset my timer 3 times on my first 45 minute session when I meant only to pause it. Probably not a bad thing, because I took a look at the numbers and I had barely cracked 100 words during those 3 aborted sessions.
On top of all that, I’ve found myself procrastinating an incredible amount today and I don’t know why.
I’m calling today’s big plans a bust. Instead, I’ll just concentrate on getting to my minimum word count, and then maybe—maybe—if I’m not just ready to give up, I’ll work on making up yesterday’s shortfall. I’ll go from there.
Update: And… the day’s total came in at 367 words in 45 minutes (three 15 minute sessions) making my pace 489 words an hour. Interesting side note: my cumulative word count since July 2012 is 1,155,620 words.
Also, for a second day in a row, I have not written my non-negotiable minimum number of words. >:(
I do not plan to let that stretch to three.
Okay, I haven’t taken the opportunity to push for a record day in a while, so I want to do that today. It’s a perfect day for it. The house is empty and I have no one here to distract me, only myself (who is, let’s be honest, the biggest problem), but I’m going to overcome that by turning off WIFI for at least a few hours.
My best word count for one day is 5,816. So today I’m going to take aim at 6,000 again and see if I can get there.
My plan is simple if tough, because I don’t focus well for long periods of time.
I’m going to do 45 minute sessions and I’m hoping for an average of 800 wph for each of them. I know! My average on this book hasn’t been anywhere near that, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. And I have done 800 wph plenty of times (just not many lately) so I know it’s not out of my range.
After 2 sessions, I’ll evaluate whether or not I’m going forward with this plan today. I’m not going to set myself up for a frustrating day of failure, so at that point I might scale it back if things look dire. I’ll know within a couple of sessions if I’m able to write fast enough today to make this possible.
Now, off for breakfast, so I can get started with this as soon as possible. I’ve somehow managed to spend all morning doing spreadsheet calculations and thought experiments. Time for some action!
On Tuesday the 11th, I decided to set a daily minimum word count and start writing 1,557 words every day. I began following that rule on the 12th. Overall, this is one experiment that seems to be working out well.
Here are my word counts for the last 7 days, beginning with July 12.
1,667
935
1,628
1,969
405
1,562
1,615
That’s an 80% completion rate, which is pretty damn good in my book.
The reason for today’s title is this: today’s word count sits at 402 words and it’s 10:15 pm. I had a plan for today, but I didn’t follow through. I don’t have a good reason for that, but I’m sitting here thinking I might still have time to finish today’s minimum word count if I start now. In truth, this is probably a perfect example of the thinking I talked about in yesterday’s morning post.
But I really think I could possibly still make it. So of course I’m going to have to try now or I’ll regret it. And if I don’t, well, at least I can be somewhat certain I’ll end up with more words than I started with.
(And I ended with 688 words. Although I didn’t make it to my minimum before 12, I’m glad I tried.)
Today’s plan is to do 15 minute sessions back-to-back and only take a break when I have to. Knowing me, I’ll probably have to much too often, but at least now that I’m writing in the dining room again, I seem to be able to get back to it pretty quickly when no one else is around (and no one else is around today). :D
I’m thinking 12 sessions would be a good number, since that’d put me at 3 hours, which is probably what I’ll need to get my 1,557 words today, because I’ve needed at least that long the last 4 days. So onward! I’ll update this post as I go. :D
I ended up with just over 1600 words for the day, although I can’t say exactly how many because I’m writing this update on my phone from my bed. :D I forgot to update last night and wanted to do it before I got busy with today’s writing. The exact number doesn’t matter anyway. It was another win and it feels fantastic. ;)
I like writing posts here while I write. I don’t know if it helps keep me focused in on writing or not, but I like it. So I’ve decided to end this latest experiment of mine early. I’d rather write less fiction than have to restrain the exuberance I feel and ignore the compulsion to talk about it. :D So—I’m back!
I’ve done pretty well with my other big writing experiment though. The non-negotiable 1,557 words a day is working for me. It helps that it’s a number I can look at and imagine myself completing in a little over an hour. Now, I don’t usually complete that many words in an hour, not by far, which makes the whole thing funny in a sad sort of way, because it exemplifies my problem with grandiose thinking. BUT, I’ve finally found a way to make that work for me, it seems, because 1,557 words a day feels so easy when I think about doing it, that I don’t find myself hampered by resistance at all.
It’s kind of an amazing feeling, really.
I’ve already told everyone who’ll listen to me not to ever let me set a huge goal for myself again. :D
One reason I think this is different than previous attempts? I usually say one thing but mean another. I don’t know that I’ve ever actually accepted that maybe this is the upper limit for me and that it’s okay. I don’t have to write more than this because I can make a good living (barring catastrophe) and my books might come slower, but consistency will get me there much faster than my usual patterns.
In fact, 1,557 words a day is actually more than 2x my current all time daily average of 618 words. See what all that inconsistency has gotten me, chasing after ever growing goals I never seem able to reach? I can double the number of novels I put out in a year just by writing a small number of words every day.
I’ve known this for a long time, but I think, now, finally, I’m ready to embrace it.
Now, to figure out how to kill perfectionism once and for all…
So today I’m writing with my little timer software set to the stopwatch instead of the timer. I’ve started each session with the intention of writing until something distracts me. Surprisingly, my session lengths have been pretty regular.
This is an experiment, really, because I’ve tried straight-up timing my sessions before (versus using the timer to limit session length) and I didn’t have much luck with it. It was time to give it another try, and I’m pleased with how it’s working out.
Session 1
30 minutes. 384 words. 768 wph. I stopped because my phone dinged with a message in Hangouts.
Session 2
36 minutes. 214 words. 357 wph. Too much cycling and editing of session 1 words.
Session 3
25 minutes. 98 words. 235 wph. Way too much editing of the words from sessions 1 and 2.
Session 4
20 minutes. 106 words. 318 wph. I stopped because I’ve been drinking too much tea this morning and I had no choice. :D
Sessions 5–7
43 minutes. 399 words. 557 wph. Frustration with my plot stopped me this time. I had to have a break or I was going to break something. :D
35 minutes. 281 words. 489 wph. More plot frustrations!
16 minutes. 212 words. 795 wph. Stopped by the phone ding again.
I’ve reached my day’s minimum word count.
It should not have taken me all day to do 3.4 hours of writing, but it really did. I made a note of the start time in my journal, and it was 11:19 am. I ended session 7 at 6:52 pm. So for 3.4 hours of writing, I used about 7.5 hours of the day. I wrote out a (ridiculously) long summary of where my time went and it made me realize my expectations of how much actual, focused time I can get out of 7.5 hours in the middle of the day might be unrealistic.
Getting my expectations in line with reality might go a long way toward keeping me from coming up with ridiculous plans for myself that I have no hope of following through on. Grandiose plans, I think that book The 7 Secrets of the Prolific called them. (It was a good book, if you haven’t read it.)
Yes, I make grandiose plans. I use math to support those plans, and I never build in the time I need for writing these posts, making my notes by hand, or anything else that probably uses up significant chunks of untracked time.*
I’d like to come up with some ideas of how I can stop that from happening, but the only things coming to mind are things I’ve tried a thousand times before and found completely ineffective. And I’m not willing to make myself stop these posts. Although I should probably give some serious thought to trimming them down to basics. I ramble. A lot. And talk about stuff that doesn’t really matter. Mostly because I think better when I’m writing things out, and it’s also easier for me to remember things I’ve written out.
Anyway, I should end this post, because I’ve actually been at it since (*holy shit) 9:04 pm and it’s now 10:04. There you go, an answer to the question of what happens to all that time I lose during the day when I’m writing.
These posts really do use up significant chunks of time. This could explain why my best month ever of writing consistently was February 2013, where there’s a distinct lack of posts here on this blog (as in, none) because I wouldn’t let myself get online before I’d finished my day’s writing and by the time I was done, I just didn’t want to write anymore. (See this lone March 2013 post for February’s numbers. Ignore the rest of the post for the sake of my pride. :D)
Anyway, I now have more to think about than ever. It’s starting to look like the more I write here, the less I write there, and that’s not a good thing at all. In a sense, I’m using up my writing energy writing everything except my books.
I need new habits that prioritize my fiction writing. So tomorrow I’m going to start a little experiment. No more wordy blog posts for a while, and not even an unwordy one unless I’ve finished my day’s writing. I’ll give it a while (a week, maybe two) and see if it makes any difference, good or bad.
Session totals
In fact, looking at this post now, it’s 724 words long! Seriously, ugh.
The title was a note to myself from my notebook about trying 60 minute sessions (yesterday). :)
Session 1
I wrote 535 words, which means I’m on track to finish today’s minimum word count in less than 3 hours of timed writing. Yay! I have 1,022 words to go. :)
Session 2
I wrote 380 words, bringing my pace down to 458 words an hour. :(
Also, I am not loving these 60 minute sessions. I thought I’d give them another shot today, but I’m done. The next session will not be 60 minutes. They’re just not working for me and I don’t want to sabotage the rest of the night’s writing. (Because, yes, somehow it became 6:49 pm while I wasn’t looking.)
I have 642 words left to write and it’ll take an estimated 1.40 hours to do it.
Session 3
Despite saying otherwise, this session was 60 minutes long. I wrote even fewer words this time than last—only 313 words.
I moved to the living room and did them on the couch, and although it’s helping me relax more, it’s not helping my writing! I just can’t get comfortable today for writing. {ugghhhh}
A lot of my problem is caused by a side-effect of that home maintenance project I did on Monday and Tuesday. I am terribly allergic to mosquito bites. And I have what feels like a bazillion of them, courtesy of that stupid project. And the itching is driving me up the wall. Feels like I’ve been in contact with poison ivy! If I’d thought for a moment mosquitoes were going to be a problem I’d have hosed myself down in insect repellent but it never even occurred to me to worry about mosquitoes.
Anyway, better get busy with those last 329 words I need. It’s 10:29 and I’ve committed to ending my writing days at the stroke of midnight. I might sometimes keep writing, but anything after 12:00 pm sharp will not go into the previous day’s count.
If I want to reach my minimum for today, I only have 1.5 hours to do it.
Sessions 4–6
I finally abandoned the 60 minute sessions. These sessions were 20, 20, and 13 minutes long. I wrote 400 words exactly for a total of 1,628 words today.
Which, whew, because I really wanted to finish my minimum word count for the day. :D
Session totals
Sessions 1–3 were 60 minutes, and sessions 4–5 were 20 minutes, while session 6 was 13 minutes.
The hell if I know why that number of hours took me all day, but that’s pretty much how it is the majority of the time, so I guess I should quit being surprised by this.
See you back here tomorrow.
Today’s title is brought to you by my journal and is nothing more than a note to myself of a line of dialogue so I’ll remember to add in something important that I appear to have forgotten about in yesterday’s work. :D
Session 1
So today I’m trying longer sessions. I’m in a position here in the dining room that makes it more likely they’ll work for me. I’m doing 60 minutes at a time, and I’m a little disappointed at my first session results of 327 words.
The low count could have been because of the scene I’m working through, or it could be that I end up slowing down with longer sessions. I don’t know. I felt like my mind wasn’t wandering, and that the writing sped up and slowed down in normal patterns, so who knows what it was. I’m going to let it ride for the moment.
I have 1,230 words left to write, and my spreadsheet says I’ll have to write for 3.76 more hours to do it at my current pace. (327 words an hour isn’t very fast!)
Session 2
I wrote 462 words in 60 minutes, bringing my pace up to 395 words an hour. So I’m still seriously under-performing, but maybe it’s just because I’ve been away from writing for so long.
It’s also much later in the day at this point than I wanted it to be. However, my spreadsheet now says I need only 1.95 more hours of writing to reach 1,557 words today and I know I can do that.
In the 117 days prior to the restart of this book, I wrote only 2,115 words of fiction in total. That’s almost 4 months of nada. It makes sense that I need to get myself back up to speed.
Anyway, back to it. I have 768 words left to write and after a break I’m going to do my damnedest to write them all in the next session!
Session 3
Well, this sucks. I’m exhausted (and in pain) from the project I started during my break between sessions. I wrote 146 words in 33 minutes, realized it was after midnight, and decided to call it.
I would’ve had time to finish this if that project hadn’t taken 3 hours instead of the 30 minutes I estimated (moving furniture, a computer, etc). Then I had to help out one of my kids with something and listen to said kid talk for nearly an hour about stuff he really should have talked to me about when I was on a break.
What this session made me realize was that I need a cutoff time. Midnight seems perfectly appropriate, so tonight and in the future, if I haven’t finished my words by midnight, I haven’t finished my words for the day.
It’s better this way. Otherwise I’ll guilt myself into staying up super late trying to finish and the next day will suffer.
Anyway, I’m disappointed in myself for not finishing these words tonight. No more big projects as breaks when I’m writing.
Sessions 4–5
These two sessions dragged down my pace, which is a bummer, because I’d really wanted to pull off a miracle, write faster than I’ve written all day, and finish my minimum words in the three hours I should be able to finish them. Didn’t happen.
I wrote 252 words in session 4 and only 154 words in session 5. My pace is now 378 words an hour today. Which is way below average.
So I’ll be doing more sessions. But first, dinner. All this brain work has made me hungry. ;)
Oh, and that title? Straight off the notebook page open beside me. I have no idea what’s going on in this book but I really need to figure it out soon. ;D
Session 6
So slow! I’m really dragging here. I don’t feel draggy, just the words aren’t coming easily and the plot is dragging me down. I think when I go back I’m going to move on whether my characters are ready or not because I sure am. I’m ready for some action! ;D
This one got me only 127 words closer to my minimum and knocked my pace down to 350 words an hour. Which stinks. Like a skunk.
I’m really going to have to push for this one to be the last because I don’t want to stay up late tonight for this.
Session 7
I wrote 274 words in 36 minutes and my pace is now 365 words an hour.
There’s not a lot else to say. My total is up to 1534 now and I’m going to write just a few more minutes to get to my daily minimum and then I’m calling it done. :D
Session totals
You know what’s funny? I found it easier to go past 4 hours today, aiming for this smaller number of words, than it has been any of the times I’ve been aiming for 3,000.
I’ve decided to adopt a new post style for session updates, something I’ll (try to) use each day (that I feel compelled to write about my writing). :)
Sample
Session 1
I’ll write out any comments I have about the session.
I’ll mention my word count, my session length, and any other details I want to post.
Then at the end I’ll post a list of session word counts and my average wph (when I have it).
We’ll see how this works out. I’ve tried using tables and other formatting in the past, but sometimes it doesn’t paste well from Excel or I don’t have the numbers in excel and have to type them in.
Session totals
I like it. I think I’ll give it a try. :D
(Sometime earlier today…)
Today is one of those days where I just can’t seem to concentrate. I’m making typos left and right, and I can’t get comfortable. I can already see how challenging today is going to be for writing.
So I cleared off my dining room table and will be moving my computer in there for a while.
(3:41 pm…)
The dining room table helped a little. I think my typing is getting better. I’ve also made myself a cup of orange passionfruit jasmine green tea. It has caffeine, although not too much.
I also tried a different keyboard but that was a bust. It pushed my monitor (laptop) too far away for comfort and I didn’t like that at all.
I need a new desk, a new chair, and about 4 inches added to my height. :o Being so short is such a pain when it comes to working at a desk of any kind!
(5:21 pm…)
I can’t believe I still haven’t hit publish on this thing.
At this point I’ve got several sessions completed.
Boy was I tired last night. I think I used up all my energy writing up that blog post about resistance because when I was done, I almost fell asleep holding my computer.
One thing led to another and I just gave up. I couldn’t even handwrite the notes I wanted to make about one of my characters. I need to do some brainstorming on that or something because I’m really not feeling the love for him and he is supposed to be a major player in this book. {grrr}
Anyway, not going to do that again, but if I do, I’ll forgive myself like I’m going to forgive myself now. I had an especially trying two days and a home maintenance project going that involved concrete and buckets and 85°F heat, and I didn’t get nearly enough sleep the night before. It’s no wonder I conked out.
What this all means is that although I wanted yesterday to be the first day of my newly refreshed plan, it wasn’t.
If I had it to do differently, I would have started writing a lot sooner in the day, even if it was just 15 minutes here and there.
It’s a lesson, in a long line of lessons, trying to teach me to start my writing day as early as I can.
Which I’m going to do right now. :)