Category: Writing

Posts about writing. Writing is my work but since I work better when I pretend work isn’t work, I mostly call it fun—even when it isn’t. ;)

Summer work slump

Lynn

I’ve finally just admitted to myself that I’m in the middle of a summer work slump. Too much change around here and none of the time to myself that I’m used to in the summer has made it impossible for me to concentrate on my stories. The creative parts of my brain have dried up.

The only advice I have for anyone going through something similar is to be easy on yourself, because being tough sure doesn’t work. The more I’ve chastised myself, the worse the situation has become. I’ve finally just given up trying to pound my psyche into submission; the reasoning part of my brain refuses to be cowed.

On the other hand, I haven’t given up. I’ve just accepted that castigating myself over my lack of forward momentum is not motivating me to do better.

I’ll get out of it. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, but I will break free.

Day 1 of the 2k a day plan

Lynn

Okay, it’s really a 2,192 words a day plan, but 2k a day is catchier, right? :D I thought so. (Ignore the fact that you could think I’m talking about dollars instead of words here, because we all know I ain’t talking dollars—not that I wouldn’t love it if my words per day average was actually a dollars per day average. Hell yes I would.)

Although I have nothing to report for the day, other than the fact that I wasn’t even able to start reading my books as detailed in my last post, I’m still calling July 31, 2016, Sunday, the official beginning of this plan.

So, my progress on July 31: 0 words written toward my daily goal of 2,192.

The reason I couldn’t read my book was because for some reason the Kindle app on my phone (which is the only gadget I took to bed with me) glitched out with an error on the download of the first book in the series. All 3 of the other books downloaded fine, but the 1st book wouldn’t. :o Instead of going back for my Kindle, I took it as a sign and went on to sleep. ;)

Today is day one, because yesterday wasn’t

Lynn

I need to give this new plan of mine a short and spiffy name so I can come up with a short and cute acronym. In reality, I’ll probably call it something ordinary and boring, like “my new plan,” because it fits and doesn’t require any thought.

Yesterday should have been day 2 or 3, or, at the least, day 1 of the new plan.

It wasn’t.

So today is day 1, even if I end up with 0 words, which it kind of looks like I’m headed toward at the moment.

I don’t want today to be a 0 word day, but I’ve been thinking I might want to read the previous books in the series before I start digging into the writing again. Maybe it’ll fire me up with ideas and renew my enthusiasm for this story.

If reading the entire series helps, I’m going to make this a priority for future books (reading the previous books each time before I start on the next). If it doesn’t help, at least I’ll have my head full of the series details again so I don’t make a really big mistake (almost did that, yes I did, with a particular piece of tech I’d invented for the series).

I wonder if I can get through all four books by tomorrow afternoon? Ooh, sounds like a challenge! ;)

Why the new plan does not include writing on multiple stories

Lynn

I had a lot of success producing more words when I let myself work on whatever I wanted. That doesn’t really work with the new plan. Theoretically, if I’m having a bad day I can still move on to another story within the group of series stories that I’m working on, but one thing I realized I need to fix is my lack of interest in a story after too much time has passed. To fix that I really need to be writing my stories faster, and I can’t write my stories faster if I’m splitting my focus between 4 books. Because that’s how many books I would be working on at one time if I let myself work on multiple stories while I follow this new plan. Which means that all four books will be ready at about the same time and that they could all take three full months to write even if manage to consistently hit my daily goal.

Three months is too long.

Right now I’m thinking one month to six weeks is probably best to keep my interest high and to keep me from becoming bored with any particular book.

So that’s really the basic reason why I’m not going to be continuing the multiple stories experiments even though they have proven to improve the number of words I can write in any one day.

The fact is I never ended that experiment, and I continue to have trouble writing after I took the break to publish one of my other books. So obviously, even though it did help temporarily, it didn’t create a long-term solution to my long-term problem of my lack of motivation and drive to write some days.

Also, I wrote the majority of this on my phone while I was talking into the voice recognition software and I’ll just say right now that the way that my mind is scattered and the way that I think as I talk probably means this doesn’t make a lot of sense. I will try to edit it the best I can later. :)

Consider this an experiment an anti-perfectionism. I readily admit I actually did go back and edit as much as I could on my phone. But I think I’m going to leave the rest as it is. See you in a later post. :-)

End transmission. ;)

Day 1 of the new schedule

Lynn

I’ve created a table for the results for my latest experiment with a schedule. I have a feeling this one’s going to be a winner. I started off late today but things started off well enough.

I think I was able to get started this morning when I haven’t on so many other days lately because…

  1. Late start
  2. Long breaks
  3. Short sessions

Meaning: It didn’t feel like a huge commitment to sit down and get started.

Scheduled 9:00-10:30 1:00-2:30 7:30-9:00 Words
Day 1 10:15-11:57 4:29-5:22 .75 hrs
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
Day 8
Day 9
Day 10
Day 11
Day 12
Day 13
Day 14

All sessions are 1.5 hours of writing time regardless of length unless I say otherwise.

Day 1

Things seemed to be going well and then I got sick. Not sure if it was something I ate or a virus, but I finally cut my second session short and called it a night. I’m disappointed, for sure, but I’m very satisfied with this schedule. Now I’m going to sleep because I still have a stomachache and I’d rather sleep it off than keep suffering. Blame any weird typos on my phone’s auto correct, because I said I’d post an update but I got off the computer hours ago.

It’s all a work in progress

Lynn

Hmm. It’s possible I was overly optimistic about my start time today for writing, since I was trying to make up for a really short night of sleep the night before.

You see, the night before last, I stayed up and binge watched Stranger Things on Netflix. I shouldn’t have, and I didn’t mean to, certainly, but once I got started watching it, I couldn’t quit. I think my lack of self-control is tied in to everything that’s been going on with my writing. On the other hand, I burned myself out and I’m going on a TV watching hiatus outside of my lunch break. (I watch TV during that time with my daughter and she would not be happy with me if I cut out that time together. So, not giving that up.)

Because of how tired I was yesterday, I stayed up late last night. I know that sounds at odds with how that’s supposed to work, but for some reason, when I’m desperately tired because of lack of sleep, I find it much easier to stay up late. I get a surge of energy in the evenings, usually around 8 or 9 o’clock and I start to feel like I can finally make up for a lackluster day. It’s a routine, or might as well be. It’s also one reason I have a hard time getting back into good sleep patterns when I mess up even just one night—and it’s why I try not to do that. I didn’t succeed last night and ended up getting to sleep around 12:30 AM. So of course, this morning I woke up at 6:56 AM and couldn’t go back to sleep, although I did try. I shouldn’t have. It did no good and it led me to getting up much later than I wanted to get up today.

It’s also put me off my stride and I’m struggling to get started this morning.

Not only that, but there’s a leak in a pipe in the basement and a repairman is here to fix it, and that’s also been a distraction.

But… even though I know it’s late, I’m about to try anyway. Since no one is here to notice that I’m not stopping at 11 AM today (the 11 AM to 2 PM break is not a break so much as it’s reserved non-work time), I’m going to write from now until 12 and then stop. After that, I’ll restart at 2 PM and go from there.

The goal today is unchanged: 3,233 words.

One thing you won’t find mention of is the multiple books experiment. I think it really works for me, but… I also think it has its flaws. If I’m still going to end up struggling to write the way I’ve been struggling these past two months, I think it’s best if I focus all my energy on one book at a time.

I have a sneaking suspicion that part of the reason I’m having such a hard time with the particular book I’m working on now is because I’ve spread it out over such a long time period. According to the files in my backups folder, I made my first backup of that story back on 2/8/2015. That means I’ve been working on this book, in one way or another, for almost 18 months. That’s too long to spend on a book. I lose interest. I lose focus. I can’t write without either of those. I lose the threads of the story, and that’s worst of all, I think, because it leads to the other two problems.

This is something I just realized a few days ago. The multiple stories experiment has failed to keep me writing. If I’m going to struggle, I might as well reserve that struggle for one book so I can have a better chance of keeping up my momentum with whatever particular story I’m working on.

Anyway, it’s all a work in progress. I keep feeling like someday I’ll find the perfect system that’ll keep writing fun and keep me writing, but the truth is I know that’s not going to happen. I just have to keep doing whatever it takes to make as much progress as I can. I do love to write when a story is going well, and I’m happier doing this than I’ve ever been at any of my previous jobs. It’ll work out if I just keep moving. :)

Starting tomorrow: new plan, same schedule

Lynn

My current plan seems not to be working, but I don’t want to give up on the schedule just yet, because the reason it’s not working is definitely a personal one. Motivational issues, trouble getting started, all those usual things that plague me.

Anyway, the new plan is to just allow myself to write during the 8-11 and 2-5 time periods. Yes, it’s a bit of a mind game, but something’s got to be done.

Oh, and I did tweak the afternoon start time for the schedule, because I really think I need that longer break in the middle of the day (family, nap, reasons) and I might be more successful with this if I don’t set myself up for failure right off. That’s also the reason I’m sticking with the 8 AM start time for the time being. If I start earlier, that’s great, but it doesn’t seem to be likely, so why plan for it?

So tomorrow, I give this another go, and I do it by allowing myself to write from 8-11 and 2-5.

I deleted the alarms I’d set on my phone for my writing start times and I got rid of the detailed session lengths I had mapped out in my calendar (8-8:50, 9-9:50, etc.).

I’m trying to get away from the mindset of having to force myself to write. Honestly, if this is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life, it’s already time to move on and find another career. I certainly can’t keep this up forever!

All that said, the truth is that I believe my problems with writing almost always come down to a combination of perfectionism, fear of failure, and pressure. If I can mitigate those feelings, I can get to a better place with my writing—and have more fun with it—and maybe I’ll make real progress toward some of my larger writing goals.

That’s the plan anyway!

Self-sabotage has been the rule of the day

Lynn

Could it be that I’m suffering sugar withdrawal? Is that a thing? A real thing, at any rate, and not just something in my head? Because I’m definitely feeling out of sorts today. Maybe it’s just panic because I still can’t seem to make myself do any real work on my books.

I’ve written 372 words today, which I got in 39 minutes, so it’s not like I’m incapable of writing at a somewhat normal speed at the moment. But my brain feels sluggish, my thoughts scattered, and my ability to concentrate and focus is nonexistent. I thought I was going to die before that first 50 minutes was up! In the end, I couldn’t hold out. I had to get away from the computer, so I cut the session short at 39 minutes. And that was that. I haven’t been able to get back to it and here it is 5:14 pm.

I know something’s wrong because here’s what I’ve done today: I added all my email accounts to Thunderbird as POP3 accounts. I deleted the IMAP accounts. Then I added all my accounts as IMAP accounts, and followed that up by copying all my email into folders and deleting the POP3 accounts. Then I changed my mind, started to delete the IMAP accounts and replace them with POP3 accounts but stopped partially through that because I realized I had no idea what I wanted.

What I really wanted, I think, is to not think about the fact that I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing.

 

Follow up to the follow up

Lynn

I did NOT write any fiction today. I didn’t do anything else writing or publishing related either. What I did do was… something. I swear it seemed important at the time, but I can’t even remember it at the moment.

Oh, yeah. I closed an account related to a pen name I’m not going to use and then deleted the google account that I’d set up for email for it, then got caught up with clearing up some email forwarding issues and the like. I spent much more time on that whole thing than was worth it. Seriously.

I also cleared out my saved passwords, tried to create a time tracking spreadsheet but gave up when I realized it wasn’t going to do anything but disappoint me when I don’t keep it updated, and… there was something else. I mean, I know I spent the entire day at the computer, and I didn’t spend any of it reading the forums and blogs I’ve committed to staying away from indefinitely. The time went somewhere.

I did download and set up a habit tracking app on my phone: Loop – Habit Tracker. The first habit I set up was “write every day” so I can get on top of my lack of writing. :o I added “no sweets” and “read fiction” on there too, because I’d like to track those. Other than that, I can’t remember what else I did with my day.

Ah, well. I already know I didn’t use my time wisely today.

Tomorrow I’ll do better. I’ll certainly try.

Fuzzy feeling but no headache—yet

Lynn

I’ve kept to my plan to take ibuprofen today in advance of the headache I’m worried about, and so far, it’s paid off. I had a really fuzzy feeling just before, during, and after lunch, but I tried to nap at 12:30, but I never drifted off, got back to work, stared at the screen for a while, then gave up to try again on the nap. This time I think I drifted off for a few moments, and I do feel better than I did.

Progress today? I’ve written 107 words. I have no motivation to write at all. I just don’t want to do it. Boo. :(

End of day update (a day later)

I finished with 424 words about half each between two stories.

Other than 1 teaspoon or so of honey with some yogurt, I successfully stayed away from added sugar. I’ll be honest, there were several times yesterday that I just knew I’d write better if I just had a single cup of hot chocolate. It was quite hard to talk myself out of it.

It was eggs, fruit, homemade chili, chicken and vegetables yesterday, all cooked the way I liked.

Of course, I dreamed of sweets last night. Sweets and death, oddly enough. I was at the home of a beloved aunt and apparently someone had just murdered her children and we were all eating. I was wondering if anyone would notice that I wanted a piece of every kind of pie present. Then the dream morphed and I was eating chocolate covered cherries. There were other weird bits to the dreams but those are the bits that stood out most. The pies played a prominent role.

Obviously this sweets abstinence thing is weighing heavy on my mind. I’m pretty convinced at this point that the sweets are an addiction I need to leave behind. I’ll be blunt: I’ve never been successful with anything that depended on moderation. Abstinence is probably the only way I’ll ever be successful at this.

I have the same issue with reading forums and blogs. The moment I allow myself any leeway there at all, I’m using them for a distraction when I should be working. It always seems to be all or nothing with me. :o

So… I’ve just decided I’m going to kick that habit too. No more Writers’ Cafe at Kboards and no more The Passive Voice. The reason these two are so much a problem for me is because they have new posts at irregular intervals all day long and very active communities who post replies and comments. It’s easy to find myself checking to see if anything’s changed throughout the day. There’s a reward for constant checking. I do worry a bit about falling behind on industry news, but to tell the truth, podcasts and author blogs will probably keep me plenty up to date with nary a visit to Kboards or TPV.

Starting well

Lynn

I had a bit of a late night, so I adjusted today’s schedule to 9–11 & 1–5. If I feel like it later, I’m going to make up a bit of the 4 hours I missed yesterday. If not, the plan is to make them up tomorrow, because I should be fully back on my early morning schedule by then.

Otherwise, the plans I made yesterday are off to a good start. I feel better after a good night’s sleep. I had scrambled eggs and a small can of V-8 (original) for breakfast. Now it’s time to avoid thinking about food again until lunch. Also, I took an ibuprofen this morning and I’ll take another at lunch time, in an attempt to hold off the headache I expect will show up when I don’t have coffee today. Relapses happen, but I’m taking charge of this one right now; there’ll be no more coffee for the foreseeable future.

Time to get to work. I want to write 3,233 words, preferably in 4 hours. That way I’ll have time to start on those covers I want to finish.

July 11: follow up & the decision to go all in

Lynn

I’m really disappointed in myself right now. A couple of things happened that stopped me from returning to my work at 1 pm today, one of those being a  headache. That’s a legitimate issue, but in all truth, I should have worked through it. I needed to work through it.

I know what was to blame for the headache. Four days ago I drank a cup of coffee. The next day and the day after I drank another. Yesterday, I continued the pattern.

Today I didn’t. And I got a headache.

Just to prove the point to myself, I finally gave in and drank a cup of coffee at about 5 pm. Yep, a half hour later the headache started to get better.

It’s gone now. But my day ended up completely off-kilter and I just never recovered. Also, I started to obsess over the fact that I’ve been regaining some weight I lost last year. I can’t write, I’m having trouble controlling my eating, my time, my attention—it all seems to point quite clearly to me toward the fact that something’s got to change.

Moderation isn’t working for me, in anything.

Tomorrow I begin a new plan. I’m going all in, moderation be damned.

I will follow the schedule, even if I’m just staring at the damn laptop screen and doing nothing.

Meals will be meat, vegetables, and fruit, and nothing else for two weeks. I eat a varied diet—but I eat too much!—and I eat way too many sweets. I am completely addicted. I don’t say this to make light of addiction. Alcoholism runs rampant on one side of my family tree. Obesity runs rampant on the other. I think it’s pretty obvious addiction issues plague both.

There’s a reason I’m very, very careful about how much and when I drink anything alcoholic. I’ve never been drunk. Ever. And I never plan to be.

It’s time I started treating certain foods as if they were alcoholic beverages. Frankly, I think my body already does. I’ll just make it a conscious choice now to do the same mentally.

(Just a quick note: I’m not banning grains, but honestly, I generally only like them when they’re part of cakes, desserts, or smothered with sugar so what’s the point of trying to fit them in? Toast? Only if there’s sugar and cinnamon on it. Rolls? Only if I add honey to the butter. Oatmeal? Only with sugar and maple syrup. Rice? I add sugar!!! Usually a tablespoon per cooked cup or I can’t eat it. I can’t stand cornbread. I don’t even like wheat bread that much.)

So that’s it. Tomorrow I’m taking control of a few areas of my life that feel completely and totally out of my control.

Wish me luck getting over this hump.

July 11: Plan and results

Lynn

Plan is first, results will be in parenthesis after.

Work from 9–11
Fix Word style set issue (done)
Write (deleted more than I wrote, ended at -287 words)
Work from 1–5
Write
Experiment with Photoshop Elements
Export GIMP file to PSD format (with flat background) and see if typography is easier/better/quicker with Photoshop Elements

It’s not too late; a plan for the rest of July

Lynn

I’d like to finish 3 books in July (or get close to it). I’m off my goals by quite a lot, but after a bit of math, I realized it’s not too late to make July my best month ever. I don’t even have to add extra words to my 3,233 words a day goal to do it. I just have to actually write every day. :)

There are 21 days left in July (not today): 21 x 3,233 = 67,893. My best month ever comes in at 57,249 words. That was only 2 months ago in April.

The books I’d like to finish including estimated word counts and current word counts:

Est WC Actual To write Total Daily
Novel 50000 41,648 8,352
Novel 50000 29,675 20,325
Pen name novel 50000 1,378 48,622 77,299 July 3,681

If I want to actually finish all three books, I do need to write a bit more every day, but even that doesn’t seem out of reach. I’m going to go for it.

June 28 writing

Lynn

I’m going to log my writing today.

I finally got a really good night of sleep, but that means I’m starting one hour and a half later than I’d planned. Here’s the revised plan.

8:30–10:30 Write
11:30–1:30 Write
2:30–4:30 1:30–3:30 Write
4:30–6:30 Work on paperbacks Write
7:30–9:30 8:30–9:30 Work on paperbacks Write

(Edited as changes became necessary, but I’m leaving original entries so I can see what worked and what didn’t.)

I decided on two hour blocks with one hour between, because… I’m not really sure. It felt right: enough time to really get into what I’m doing and a nice long break between. If I can make the two hour blocks work, I’m going to carry this forward.

(Not such long hours though—ten isn’t too many for today, when I need to get so much done, but I certainly don’t think this is good for me long-term. I’ll stick to the four hours a day and 3,233 words I want long-term, but I’ll try to do it 7–9 & 10–12. That’ll leave me two two-hour blocks for publishing stuff every day so I can really dig into my cover design studies and do lots of other stuff that’s been backing up on me. Honestly, I’ve been squandering time for too long.* It’s time I used what time I have for the things that are important to me.)

We’ll see. Today is definitely more experiment than anything else.

Results (as I go)

Hours Words Session WPH
Story 1 1.08333 199 199 184
Story 2 0.91667 606 407 444

I’m numbering the stories in the order I work on them so my work pattern is clear to me later.

At this point, I’m completely off the scheduled times. I’m not sure how I’m going to adjust, but I’m going to figure something out. Likely I’ll lose the last paperback work session. (I figured it out and edited the plan above.)

Well here it is many, many hours later and I’m just not getting ready to write for another hour. Can I explain why I didn’t work during the other times I planned to work today? No.

I really don’t have an explanation and all I can say is that I feel like I’m trapped inside myself, unable to get free. Like my head needs to be opened up and I need to take my brain out, shake it around, wipe it off, and then put it back. It just doesn’t feel right. There’s a tiny voice in there telling me I should probably be on some kind of medication, but I don’t listen to imaginary voices, any more than I listen to the voice of reason. :D

 

*I’m not much of a sports fan, but I read the news today about Pat Summit’s death. I’ve always respected her drive, and her abilities. It made me feel… regretful, you could say, that I’ve not valued my time more. Maybe the feeling won’t last, but I want to take advantage of that feeling while I can. RIP Pat Summit.