Day 18 of No More Zero Word Days

Day 18 has been one of those days that would have been, without a doubt, a zero word day, if not for my desire to keep my streak alive, and my mini sized requirement. I had just enough willpower to get 52 words out, and that was it.

I have to delete more. I have been pecking away at the novella for the last few days, thinking about some stuff, and trying to figure out where I went wrong, if I even went wrong, because maybe the problems weren’t even real and I should have just kept going way back when. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I have to delete some stuff, but I don’t want to do it tonight, because I am done.

Yes, I know I said I wasn’t going to state intentions, but I feel like I have to state this intention: I am going to finish this book. Tomorrow, the next day, or the next, but I am going to finish it. Even if that means gutting it and starting over and writing hell bent for the end.

That said, I do have a major problem. I’ve done so much tinkering that I can’t actually remember what’s in the book and what isn’t and that’s … not a great thing for me. I don’t do revisions, and I don’t do them because once I get to this point, I can’t untangle my messes. I can’t let go of stuff in my head that should be, was, or was meant to be in the book. I can’t scrub it out. I can’t unthink these things and the confusion is extremely … confusing! I’m not sure how I’m going to do this. I might have to sit down and delete another chunk and then just read through the book as it is three or four times to solidify in my thoughts what’s actually there in the book. I read about half of it today. I could do that. There was some great stuff there that surprised me. And that’s why I’m now wondering if I screwed up nearly a month ago when I deleted a bunch.

There’s just no way to know.