Journal writing is still writing

The journaling experiment isn’t working out as I’d hoped. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that when I don’t want to write, I don’t even want to journal, so making myself journal about not writing to get me to write is as hard as making myself just start writing.

I should have guessed the outcome of this experiment. Journal writing is writing, first and foremost, and when I’m having trouble getting started writing, I’m generally having trouble getting started with anything. I turn to OCD-like behaviors to draw me in and keep me from thinking about the fact that I’m not doing what I want or need to be doing, and it works. It soothes that part of me that can’t focus or concentrate on writing.

Not that I understand any of that, but it’s true. That’s what happens.