The schedule and self-sabotage

I’ve dedicated myself to working with my schedule this week. Staying focused is hard for me. But this week, I’m going to push myself to write during my scheduled writing time. It’s 10:26 and I definitely let myself get distracted from my schedule this morning.

I have to be careful of distractions because I often forget what I was doing before I became distracted. This morning I got up a little late, showered a little long, and then still had to have breakfast even though as I was preparing it I was fully aware of the fact that I should be planning to eat at my computer. I chose not to because I had started reading an article I wanted to finish (big mistake) and then that article had several linked articles that I really wanted to read that I was afraid I’d forget to read later, so I kept pushing off my writing start time.

I have a decision to make right now: finish the articles or start writing, and I’ll be honest, I’m leaning toward finishing the articles and I don’t even know why. They’re about being prolific and maybe that’s it, maybe there’s a part of me that thinks I’ll learn something new and exciting that will suddenly make me break through the wall that keeps me writing slowly most of the time and I’ll totally make up for the wasted writing time just by writing faster.

Isn’t it wonderful to be able to see one’s self-sabotaging behaviors and yet still not be able to do anything about them?

Anyway, it’s 10:21 now and I’m going to skim through these articles and account for the time here just so I can face how much time I am wasting.

I’m back! I did that in record time, because it’s now 10:29 and I read three articles (found nothing new or exciting there at all!), deleted them from Evernote, and am back to this post.

Now, it’s time to get serious here. I have writing to do and I shouldn’t have let myself off the hook today to get started on time. I’m left with 1.5 hours until my break. I want to make them count.