As you’ve probably already guessed, the schedule hasn’t helped in any way to get me started writing again. I haven’t even come close to getting started on time a single time since I came up with it, because for some reason beyond me, I’ve gone from going to bed at a reasonable hour to staying up until midnight. Needless to say, I haven’t been getting up at 6 AM and I haven’t been getting started by 7 AM.
I’ve revised the schedule for tomorrow and tried to set up another for today so I don’t end the day having written nothing again. But I have a feeling I have deeper issues to worry over.
Allowing myself to work on multiple books at once without making any kind of commitment to finish any one before another was working great for me.
I screwed that up. I’ve cost myself loads of time that I am CERTAIN I wouldn’t have lost if I’d just stuck to that. I bet I’d be finished with at least one of my almost finished books by now.
Instead I changed my focus, and now I’m in a terrible position of REALLY needing to finish a certain book before the others, making me feel overwhelmed and stressed and setting off a wave of procrastination and avoidance that I knew would happen—but thought, foolishly, that maybe this time it wouldn’t.
I don’t know if I can get out of this without missing my deadline—a deadline I put on myself but that I mentioned in several places in a way that makes it feel like an honest-to-God obligation.
I suspect I’m going to miss it and I suspect there’s nothing I can do about that.
I don’t like failing in situations like these, when I know it’s all my fault—I totally set myself up for failure in this instance.
Okay, deep breath. I’m moving on to another post, one where I set out my plan to get out of this mess I’ve created for myself.
Also, this is not in any way related, but I’ve decided my categories and tags on this site are pretty useless for finding things. Expect changes.